More than Words!!

For some time now...I've been waking up singing a song named "More than Words" by Extreme!!These are the exact lyrics I would wake up singing-Saying I love you 
Is not the words I want to hear from you 
It's not that I want you 
Not to say, but if you only knew 
How easy it would be to show me how you feel 
More than words is all you have to do to make it real Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me...I didn't quite understand why I would wake up singing this secular song.So, I would change it up and start singing a worship song.Like,I stated I had no clue to why this song was embedded in my brain...that is until now!!I recently decided to change my lifestyle and chose to eat healthier and exercise. I would take pics or look in the mirror and not like what I would see. So,I made my choice and knew what needed to be done.But,it went deeper than just a lifestyle change...I realized I needed a spiritual lifestyle change as well.For some time now,I would tell God that I want more of Him and less of me...but didn't put action into my words. It's funny that we like to use sayings like"ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS or "SHOW ME THAT YOU LOVE ME".Last Saturday,God granted me to get baptized again.You must be saying "why do it again,if you already were baptized"!I backslid and it was something that was in my heart to do and God answered the yearning in my heart.That morning I decided to let go of the all the crud I picked up when I backslid. I felt renewed and refreshed!!My sis Carmalisa calls me in the afternoon of that Saturday and we just start chatting. I tell her that I now know why God uprooted me...He knew that I needed a new dawn in my life. So,He sent me to NEW DAWN and gave me a fresh start(a new dawn).I realized that I was given what my heart wanted and that NOW is the time to get up,do it and really change my spiritual lifestyle...to one where my ACTIONS speak instead of my WORDS.I know God loves me and that He knows I love him. But,I need to show Him by putting Him where He belongs...at the TOP!!God isn't asking me for much...He just wants His one on one with His princess. He wants me to give Him some of my time...to put Him first in everything I do. HE WANTS TO BE THE CENTER OF IT ALL AND GUESS WHAT I WANT HIM AT THE CENTER OF IT ALL!! I'm so thankful that God never gave up on me and for allowing me to get here with His guidance!! You know something "I'm not where I want to be but at least I'm not where I use to be!!"  

Lord,I thank you for helping me come to my senses...You are my ROCK and my ALL!!

Lord, I pray that whoever is struggling in their walk with You...that You help them as You have helped me and continue to help me. That they realize when they see only one pair of footprints...that it is You carrying them through all their struggles and that they don't give up because You haven't given up on them. In Jesus name...amen!! 

A mother's struggle

It's been awhile since I wrote...I've gone through some stuff in the last few months. I'm still standing cause God is AWESOME!!

Where do I begin!?! I love my boys and I know that God has blessed me with them. I also know that they are not really mine but that they belong to God. God just let me borrow two of His angels...to raise the right way. Before, I got married...I was a single mother. Trust me just cause I'm married it doesn't make the load any less lighter..but it helps to have my husband. As most knows...I'm a mother of a special needs child. My load isn't an easy one to carry...especially when all you desire is for that child to be what society considers normal. You,might look at me and see me smiling and laughing but underneath it all...I'm secretly crying!!My Devyn might seem like a healthy child in your eyes and when he throws his tantrums...you might even think he's just spoiled and a bad kid.  You might even be thinking she's an awful mother and can't control her kid. That's okay...I'm constantly judged!! I invite you to put on my stilettos and walk a mile in them...let's see how far you can walk in them!!Devyn was diagnosed with epilepsy...2 months before his 3rd birthday. That's when everything took a downward spiral!! He would have anywhere from 60-100 seizures a day. He has both tonic-clonic seizures and atonic seizures. The atonic seizures were the ones that he will have 60-100 a day...this led to really bad scarring of his brain. He also has ADHD,he's hard of hearing and has Asperger syndrome. Asperger's syndrome or Asperger disorder, is an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) that is characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction, alongside restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests. His behavior is very aggressive and angry...that's the side of autism he ended up on. It's not easy and at times I just wanna give up and run!! We have entered a stage...that I desired to never come. He hit puberty and it's not easy to explain to a 14 year old who has the mentality of a six year that his body is changing...He gets pimples and I'm the one who applies the pimple medicine on his face. Being in middle school...he sees the regular kids doing things and thinks it's okay.  I wish I can put him in a bubble but I can't. It's not an easy road to walk!!I'm a no nonsense mom and I do correct him...just because he's a special needs child doesn't mean he can get away with doing wrong. God tells me in His word that I need to discipline my children. 

Proverbs 13:24 

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

 Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

 Proverbs 23:13-15 

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol. My son, if your heart is wise, my heart too will be glad.

 Proverbs 29:15 
The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

I'm not saying go crazy and beat your child...I'm saying correct them and punish them. I get overwhelmed at times,especially when it's the same thing over and over again that I'm correcting him about. He's an awesome student straight A's and B's and an awesome athlete. But,his behavior is his downfall. I'm well aware that this is something I might have to deal with as he becomes an adult, I know that Devyn might be living with me when he becomes an adult and I'm at peace that my husband accepts that as well. I say "might" because I serve a God who is still in the miracle business!! He's the God who tells me in Isaiah 53 that by His stripes,we are healed!!Devyn,is an awesome kid and I am blessed to have him in my life. At times...it becomes to much for me to handle and I just want to give up like I stated before. But,I don't!! I refuse to do to my kids what was done to my sister and I. So, I rest knowing that...even though I cry in the silence of my room and my heart breaks...GOD IS MY ROCK!! No, matter what waves come to knock me down...I lay down on MY ROCK AND REST!! God has never left me nor has he forsaken me and only He gives me the strength to carry on!!! I am proud to say I struggle and that I'm weak!!! His word tells me(read below)

I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me"

Philippians 4:13

2 Corinthians 12:9-But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me

God bless you all who read this!! I have one request...please keep us in your prayers.

Thank you!! I didn't write this so anyone can feel sorry for me...I wrote this to encourage single parents and parents to not give up on their child or children...instead deposit them into Gods hands,pray for them,pray with them,rebuke the ugly,encourage the good,speak and declare positive and great things over them and let go of all negativity!!! Nothing is impossible for the King of Kings!! Be blessed!!                            

                               The Lord is my rock..in Him,I find rest!! No
                         matter the storms or waves that try to knock me 
                         down!! He is my stronghold!!

God's not done!!!

I wrote this back in August and I shared with only a few people...I figured why not share it with everyone!! 

He's not done!!

You look at me and shrug your shoulders, 
You think "she's nothing,she's insignificant"!! 
That's fine...that's okay,He's not done with me yet!! 

You see...I'm a caterpillar and God is my cocoon. 
He is transforming me to a rare and beautiful butterfly. 

I'm clay on a potter's wheel...He is molding me into a 
one of kind vessel. 

I'm the canvas...He is the artist with the brush in His hand 
painting a lovely masterpiece. 

While you talk about me and given up on me...Just 
remember God is not done with me!!


I,thank you Father for looking pass the exterior and focusing on the interior...I love you!! Thank you for never giving up on me and thank you for placing pastor and pastora in my life cause they too see me...the way you see me.

Thanks mom and dad for provoking me...love u both!!

Anger Management!!

Anger management...hmm,who needs it!?! 

I know who "I do"!! You might be saying "Jesus got angry, it says so in the bible(John 2:13-17)"!! I know He did,but His anger was a righteous anger. He was zealous about God's house. My anger is the total opposite. I'm basically called a foolish person in the bible.(Proverbs 12:16 & 14:16) I keep things that bother me in,so it becomes a ticking time bomb. It goes from bothering me to making me angry. Something was bothering me on Monday and it started stirring anger in,but instead of talking to my husband about it,I kept it in. I got home from work and I answered 1 question and just didn't speak to him for the rest of the night. I went to bed bothered and angry. God tells us not to go to bed angry.(Ephesians 4:26-27) You might be asking yourself,why not just tell him how you feel.My hubby isn't saved yet and well I didn't want things to get ugly. The following day I felt bad, so I texted him I love you. Thinking I had let it go,today I woke up,prayed and started getting ready for work. Elyjah and I get in the car and we drive off. That's when Elyjah says " it's picture day"...I need my baseball uniform. That was the straw that broke the camels back. I started screaming like a banshee.Elyjah just kept quiet and his eyes on me. To make matters worse,my road rage kicked in too.This is a SIN that has dominion over me.SIN,you say YES SIN is what I said. Galatians 5:19-20 says the act of a sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality,impurity and debauchery;idolatry and witchcraft;hatred,discord,jealousy,fits of rage,selfish ambition,dissensions,factions. You see, having a fit of rage leads to a discord and then hatred. I'm guilty of all three.Once on the Gratigny,boom it hit me...my pastors Sundays preaching and illustration.I was like wow my anger and attitude reigns over me not the other way around. I mean I've known I had this issue...it's no surprise!! Plus I've always said yea,I need to work on this. That's where the problem lays,I said "I need"... not Lord help me with this issue. I've tried changing myself and umm as you read...it hasn't worked. I should of been asking God to transform me. So,as I kept driving,I decided to talk to my Daddy and asked Him to help me with my anger and to transform me. (Colossians 3:8) As,I was talking to my God, I look at the sky and see a cloud in the shape of a dove. I,felt as God was telling me..."don't worry, I got your back" ! I,no longer want to be a fool and speak reckless words. I want to be wise and use my words to edify and heal!! Ephesians 4:29-32: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs,that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God,with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness,rage and anger,brawling and slander,along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another,forgiving each other,just as Christ God forgave you. I declared that today will be the last time I act out of anger and be a fool. Am I saying that I will never get angry again...no,I'm not I'm human..so not perfect but the God in me is. I know that with Him my transformation is not impossible but possible. So,with that said"instead of acting like a fool,I will use wisdom". I will wait to be clam before I act and simply talk about it.

If you too are dealing with anger issues..take it to Jesus. Let Him be the one to transform you!! Trust me trying to change yourself, will only make it worse!!

Lord, I ask that whoever is dealing with this same issue that You help them. Begin,the process of their transformation...like You have started with me. In Jesus name, I declare it done.


Be blessed and I'm sorry it's long.
 

My slingshot and 5 stones are ready!!

 I wrote this a few months back as a status just thought I should share it again.

 I got my slingshot and 5 stones!!! I shot the 1st stone at the illness and disease giant..killed it in the name of Jesus..by His stripes me and my loved ones are healed!! Shot the 2nd stone...killed the giant of hindering salvation and deliverance...the devil is a LIAR and can't have my loved ones!! Shot the 3rd stone at the giant of fear and confusion...no more will I allow the enemy to confuse me and put fear in my heart!! God has not given me a spirit of fear!! Shot the 4th stone at the giant I allowed to take my blessings...I'm taking back what belongs to me!! Shot the 5th stone and the giant of impossibilities went down...there's is NOTHING impossible for the MIGHTY GOD I SERVE!! Hallelujah!!

Be blessed!!

GIANTS!!

 Day in and day out we face many GIANTS!! It may be spiritually or even personal. They can be big or small obstacles.You might even feel small and like these giants are so much stronger. That's a mind game the enemy is playing with you. You might be small in comparison to the giant you are facing ,but the God in you is not!! Take David for example,he was smaller than the giant he faced. Yet,he still faced him. He had faith in the God he served. Sometimes, we let our situations take a hold of us and we allow fear and doubt to move in rent free. Our FAITH becomes shaken and weak. We complain and cry about our problems, instead of taking the problems to God.  We even try to run from the situation.God tells me in His word " I not seen the righteous forsaken"Psalm 37:25 and that "no weapon formed against me shall prosper" Isaiah 54:17. In this new year, I challenge you to speak your problems into non-existence.Serve fear and doubt an eviction notice.Don't tell God how big your problems are,tell your problems how big the God you serve is. What may seem impossible for you it's possible for God. Remember,that through Christ you can do all things...for it is Him who strengthens you!!I pray and declare that God will give you the strength to face whatever giant...head on! That fear and doubt changes to faith and believing that God knocked that Goliath down. 


Let go and let God!!